i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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