Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
