...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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