how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
