I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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