did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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