hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
