I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
