Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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