is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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