So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
