Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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