none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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