the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
