But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
