i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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