I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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