How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
