So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
