girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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