we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
