But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
