reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
