Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
