I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
