I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
