I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
