Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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