No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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