tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
