Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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