Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
