She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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