I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
