He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
