if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So many bounce houses so little time
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
