Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
