no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
