i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's Friday. Sex?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
