I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
