i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
