I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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