So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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