I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
