I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
