I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
