Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
