Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
