i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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