i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
