there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize