She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just had sex bonerless
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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